The Last Ten Things Any Man Would Say:

10. I think Barry Manilow is one cool mother-fucker!

9. While I'm up, can I get you a beer?

8. I'm absolutely wrong, you must be right!

7. Her breasts are too big!

6. Sometimes, I just want to be held...

5. That chick on "Murder She Wrote" sure gives me a woody!

4. Sure, I would love to wear a condom!

3. We haven't been to the mall in ages. Let's go shopping so I can wear your purse.

2. Fuck Monday Night Football. Let's watch "Murphy Brown".

1. I think we are lost. We'd better pull over and ask for directions.

The Last Ten Things Any Woman Would Say:

10. Could our relationship be more physical? I'm tired of being just friends.

9. Go ahead and leave the toilet seat up. It's easier for me to douche that way.

8. I think hairy butts are really sexy!

7. Hey, get a whif of that one!

6. Please don't throw away that old shirt. The holes in the armpits really turn me on!

5. This diamond is WAY too big!

4. I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow!

3. WOW! It really is 10 inches!

2. Does this make my butt look too small?

1. I'm wrong, you must be right.