Did you know there are only four kinds of female orgasm?

The first is the positive orgasm: "Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, OOOHH YESSSSS!"

The second is the negative orgasm: "Oh no, oh no, oh no, OOOHH NOOOOOOOOO!"

The third is the religious orgasm: "Oh God, oh god, oh christ, OOOHHH GOD!"

and the fourth is the fake orgasm: "Oh squiffy, oh squiffy, oh squiffy!"