Did you know there are only four kinds of female orgasm?
The first is the positive orgasm: "Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, OOOHH YESSSSS!"
The second is the negative orgasm: "Oh no, oh no, oh no, OOOHH NOOOOOOOOO!"
The third is the religious orgasm: "Oh God, oh god, oh christ, OOOHHH GOD!"
and the fourth is the fake orgasm: "Oh squiffy, oh squiffy, oh squiffy!"